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ps   
12:09am 30/06/2008
  beginning to like singleness. I'm not really lonely. anymore.
and my people are cool.
and there are enough of them to keep me afloat, so far.
thankfully.
I am suddenly so enormously grateful.		  
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little things boys have done that have started the melting of my heart.   
11:58pm 29/06/2008
  brought a chew toy for my dog.
brought an umbrella on our coffee date in case of rain.
given me their only toy caboose.
called me Princepessa.
made me breakfast on the porch.
made Pepsi ice-cubes so I could have soda with ice without watering down my drink.
picked a sliver of glass out of my foot.
gotten off the bus they'd just hopped on to see me home safe.
come over during my meltdown even on a birthday.
asked me to dance (really dance.)
emailed me just to ask "how's your monday?"
kissed me (kissed me, kissed me, kissed me, kissed me) at just the perfect time. :-)		  
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boys and girls   
12:54am 27/06/2008
  I used to live by very strict rules about dating, sleeping or fooling around.......etc etc etc.

and now I only live by a few;

NO SHOWMANCES.

NO SEX ON THE FIRST DATE.

NO....most importantly......no faking any of it.

what I feel is what I feel, and I accept it, and try to reconcile it with the life my intellect desires, and move forward. :-)		  
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taking time off   
04:46pm 13/05/2008
  from facebook and livejournal and didn't quite realize how much time I spend on them....given I barely have anything else to do now after checking my email.

I booked a student film. that's exciting. we shoot in two weeks and I would like to look less pudgy than I do now.....

blah....		  
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because I want to record this.   
03:37pm 12/05/2008
  "I love you still. I'm so excited for you. But I can't share it, I can't tell you, I don't want to force myself into your life because I know that it won't make you happy right now. But still - I feel these things for you and your wild success and I want to write somewhere, some little corner of the internet, where I can show you I did try to say these things to you - I just tried to respect your boundaries more."  
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it's her 24th birthday.   
10:31pm 04/05/2008
  and I have been cleaning.

and this has broken my heart.

"Dani influenced my life more than anyone I know. She taught some of life's most important lessons, such as the incredible value of a good friend. So, here's to the most beautiful person I know, my mentor, teacher, confidante and friend. Here's to Danielle O'Farrell."

..............

oh, lady.

I will try to be everything you believed me to be.

I love you, still.

always.		  
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so.   
11:36am 15/04/2008
  here's where I'm standing about debt.

On February 4th, Amanda Florance died in a car accident. As she was/is my best friend, I took off work for the week, went back to NE, did the funeral/memorial/family/friends stuff. So that was a nice big kick in the ass money wise. Also, since I was broke, I had to use my credit cards to finance most of said trip.
Bummer.

however.

Since coming back to Chicago,I found out I was being downsized (yay, recession.) (Also my boyfriend and I broke up. but that's neither here nor there.) So, my last day of work was April 6th.

I am now unemployed, bereft and newly single.

However.

Due to these circumstances, my parents have opted to advance me some monies to cover the debt in hopes that paying off them (to the tune of $100 a month once I am working again) is more palpable than paying off creditors (to the tune of 30% interest.) I am a lucky, lucky, lucky girl to have such generous parents who are willing to step in and allow me to guarantee them a retirement income :-). But I am lucky. I know a ton of parents would not help out this dramatically, and I am greatly appreciative.

So my smaller cards have been covered. My larger ones we are still figuring out, and hopefully whittling away. We're also starting me a savings account to get my act together monetarily.

I also qualify for unemployment - yay - so that's a good thing. I'm eligible for the next six and a half months, but I believe I will only be taking up to four months - looking for acting work, primarily - and really, truly, focusing on healing.

I am trying to take advantage of all this to renovate my life.		  
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Writer's Block: Lost & Found   
03:34pm 08/04/2008
 

What have you lost that you wish you still had?


View 500 Answers

my best friend. two months ago. car crash.		  
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soooooooo.   
12:33am 23/02/2008
  so much can change in two days.

I haven't been on top of my finances because a lot of fucking unexpected shit came up.

Among other things.

So.

Recapping.

The good news is that some more unexpected money came floating in from shows and from things sold on ebay, so at present - I've got the cash together to completely pay off my Macy's card in two weeks, I think.

and that will be one card down, four to go.

I am................making an effort.

I will try to make a more concise post sooner.		  
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yay unexpected bits of money   
10:08am 02/02/2008
  Just got my first paycheck for my three weeks at First Folio.....yay!
Some of it has to go towards the costs of getting out there - but $120 has been paid on my Macy's card, since, again, you're meant to pay off the smallest ones first.
Now this does NOT include this month's interest - I'll adjust it when the bill arrives - but here we go;

Macy's was: $325.05
so now it is: $205.05

subtracting from total debt;
total debt now stands at: $7,265.42

Only three hundred to go before I've paid off my first thousand.

I'm starting to get into this - but it's also starting to get hard. I'm getting used to no new clothes - in fact that much is easy, now I'm just buying cheap accessories to make these clothes different - but it is hard to stick with it, to see the light at the end of the tunnel, especially now the interest is starting to roll in. That's worst of all.

It's hard too to balance against other life stuff - the cat needs shots - gotta get my taxes done - other medical bills to pay, fuck it. Shit. ya know? I want to use money towards debt but I have to get this other stuff done too....
However..........if I can get this Macy's card paid off by the end of the month.......then that's one card down, four to go.

and then the Ann Taylor card.

and then the Bloomies.

and then the two Visas and all will be well.

but it's a bit daunting right now. quite a bit. interest is LAME.		  
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so this begins to depress a little.   
01:32am 27/01/2008
  Got my gigantic huge visa bill today, and the good news is;
I made a payment in december of $135 that I didn't account for.
the bad news is;
My interest? For this MONTH? is a whopping $123.05.

So.

If I continue to pay the minumum, I will basically be making $6.95 payments FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

Oh my god the depression.

The other good news is that my mom is looking into doing a person-to-person loan that would allow me to at least borrow money from her to pay off this GIANT card and then pay her back - which would NOT include enormous APR.

I'm going to also, soon, call them and ask for a better rate. SERIOUSLY.

Sooooooooo.
as it stands now, however.

Total accrued interest O8: 123.05

Total Current debt: $7,385.42

........ at least it didn't go UP. I guess even twelve bucks is something.		  
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10:06am 23/01/2008
  Not a ton of floating cash right now....

but made another $30 payment on my macy's card - since you're supposed to pay off the smallest one first.

so that's now....
$355.05
minus $30.00
is $325.05

and that is a grand total of..
$7,397.37 owed.

I have crossed into the 7.3 mark. yay!

At this rate, I should have a thousand bucks paid off by the end of february.

and then we'll do a little dance.


of course, bills with interest are going to start rolling in.....lame.......so I'll find some way of adjusting all that.

frustrating.

but I'll make it work.		  
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good planning.   
10:46am 22/01/2008
  trying to reward myself for everything I do right here.

I just realized I have already paid all my bills for the month (less rent) and that rent should be covered easily in the next two paychecks.

I'm kind of proud. What an adult!

yes!!!! score!!!!!! almost a real grownup!!!!

and so that means the extra floating cash can go to major debt/all those niggling medical bills...... sweet.		  
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oh oh!!   
10:43am 16/01/2008
  And I forgot!

Already set up a payment for tomorrow for my $1200 card!
So ACTUALLY;

$1211.67 - 125.00 = $1086.67

granted this is the card I used to indulge yesterday, but in efforts to have clarity I will work it all out once the bill is in front of me.

So........
$7552.37
minus $125.00
equals
$7427.37

once again;

Original total debt: $8,071.70
Updated total debt: $7427.37


it's January 16th, and I have paid off $644.33 of debt already.

Just imagine (but don't, it'll kill me) what amazing places I could have seen, food I could have eaten, RENT I could have paid will all that money that I spent already. Lame.

But it's okay. Next year - by Jan. 16th of next year - if it's all gone, I'll be estatic. :-)

Now I just have to make sure I don't go so nuts paying off my debt that I forgot to hold on to my rent money.		  
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ok.   
10:29am 16/01/2008
  Here's where it gets a bit complicated.

Starting to get bills in for the next month.....so interest is added....

but also, if I made payments BEFORE the new year (which I did in some cases) then the amount due is LESS than I originally assumed.

then again there were also a handful of new charges before the end of the year (and ONE weak moment yesterday - it was after all my birthday - and I treated myself - and now the card goes back in the drawer FOR GOOD. So, mournfully, next time I get a bill I will have to add something rather than subtract - or, best luck, break even or just a little subtraction. Bad luck. But now the birthday is passed, it is a new shining year, and I will be both brave and bold!)

So. Here is, complicatedly, what I can surmise.

Bloomingdales card;

I had made two additional payments in December.
So it last stood at 912.16.
With interest and plus these payments, I'm looking at;
789.83

I will in the future try to keep track of how much interest is costing me.........that will allow me to turn this into an MSN article. :-)

So.

Total debt less 122.33 is.....

$7674.70
minus 122.33 equals
$7552.37

kickass.

Original total debt: 8,071.70
Updated total debt: 7552.37

Way to go!

PS - I should mention I just got an acting gig - I'll be understudying and doing a little crew work for a company out in the burbs - so most of my paycheck will go towards paying off getting out there, but hopefully some of it will be extra cash for the debt. :-)

pps - also I should remind myself to save monies for getting my taxes done...and being an artist, will probably get a big fat refund check, yay!		  
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10:00pm 08/01/2008
  So got tired of waiting for the balance on my last card and looked it up online;

1211.67

soooooooo the grand total of Danielle's debt IS:


$7674.70

granted, this doesn't include student loans. or medical bills (got a couple of those from the great *switch jobs, have three different kinds of insurance, then have ovarian cyst/ER visit/colposcopy each on a different insurance plan* lame lame lame lame lame lame lame lame).

But. That's my credit card debt. And to completely honest, now it's written down, it doesn't look THAT scary. It might if my job situation changes. But right now, staring at it, doing what I'm doing now and knowing what I know, it's not so frightening. I can find eight thousand dollars somewhere. I can earn it, incrementally. It'll be okay.

Hoping.........here's hoping. :-)		  
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ann taylor bill   
11:44am 08/01/2008
  came in.......

463.04 owed.
$30 paid (cause I get paid tomorrow and have no monies today).

So.

That is currently $433.04 owed.

So let's add it all up, shall we?

$6,029.99.+
$433.04
is

$6463.03

and one last card remaining that I guesstimate to be about $1000, so.

However, so as not get to discouraged, let's remind ourselves:
before January, I had
$6396.99 in debt plus 463.04 which is.....(doing math)

$6860.03 PLUS that one remaining card.
So actually, after all

$6463.03 < $6860.03

AND I should add, a great victory this week;

a pretty, useful, stylish, easily cared for mini dress on sale at Barneys for $50.......was resisted!!!!! Didn't buy it!!! Didn't spend the money! Don't need it and instead made a payment on the ann taylor card!!! yay, well done!!!!!!!!!

It is January 8th, one week into the new year, and I have paid off $397 worth of my debt in one week.

And NOT added to it.

Huzzah.		  
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Another card in the mail   
11:45pm 03/01/2008
  Today I got my Macy's card bill (which, I should add, wasn't even a Macy's but a Marshall Fields waaaaay back when I opened it).

$385.05 - 30.00 = 355.05

I know it's not much, but that only leaves me about $80 in my checking account til next payday and that little cash floating around makes me a bit uncomfortable.

I should point out, too, that these store cards? Have all been cancelled. Couldn't use em if I wanted to - because it was all too easy to have a shitty day, wander down to Bloomies, and buy something to make the evening sunnier........

Sometimes self-control is just taking the toys out of your hands.

so the grand total of debt thus far runs.....

$6,029.99.

down by $367 from

$6396.99

Already making progress.

I have two cards left to report - and then we'll have a grand total.

It is going to be so satisfying to get this done. :-)		  
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2008 Debt-Free Goal   
03:38pm 02/01/2008
  So.

I am hoping to simultaneously shame myself into paying off gobs and gobs and gobs of debt and prevent myself from racking up any more by putting all this info in a public location where I will have to hold myself accountable.

See, kiddies, Danielle went to expensive (and worth it) performing arts school in a pricey urban locale. And as she was listed on her parents' credit history (the O'Tribfields who buy everything but houses in cash) she had a glorious, shiny credit score.

Thus some silly bankers gave her obscenely high credit limits and waved their magic wands and suddenly Danielle was set loose in a city of glittering temptation; a starbucks here, a shoe store there, and restaurants galore.

granted, some of her mounting debt came from things like groceries and mailings and acting classes; but much more came from a frivolous lifestyle that didn't acknowledge "hey, you're going to performing arts school, maybe not to be spending like you will graduate and be an investment banker".

Then she graduated, got a job working retail for many hours and not a ton of money, and proceeded to plummet headfirst into a pretty world full of expensive wrap dresses and markdowns that were just enough to make it seem justifiable. She then discovered that interest, and late fees, and all manner of pretty little additions to her bill made it damn near impossible to pay everything off.

So, then she finally got a new job - a new flexible job - and has spent the last few months getting on top of her finances and paying for almost everything in cash. Unfortunately Christmas hit hard (with $500 worth of vet bill for puppy), so as part of the 2008 (which I feel will be a good year) I have decided to pay off AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE of nearly $7500 in debt.

As an exercise, I will be posting my balances and every time I make a payment, and we can see not only how insidious and awful credit cards are and how they are designed to keep you in usury debt forever, but also how hopefully I can get a handle on my self-indulgences and begin 2009 anew.

Here goes;
Chase Platinum Card (the biggie)
$5,049.78

Bloomies Card
$962.16

I will post more as I get the current balances....

but today I got two acting paychecks and so therefore made payments:

Chase: 5,049.78 - 287.00 = 4,762.78

and

Bloomies: $962.16 - 50.00 = 912.16

Gotta start somewhere. I'm going to try to hang in, get stuff paid off, and be brave. If I can pay it all off and start saving all my extra cash, I could buy a damn condo. :-)		  
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puppy   
12:48am 20/12/2006
  I am trying to keep up hope.

But my puppy disappeared outside of White Hen tonight - when I was gone for literally a single minute - and Adam and I searched and called, and she was no where in sight.

Without being paranoid, I think someone might have taken her. She's never run off before, and when she did once, she ran to the dog park, and she wasn'tther.

I am trying to hope.
Mostly I just hope she's okay.

OH, dog.

Oh, god.

So sad. I have failed her.		  
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